


Believe in You

by dichotomy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Comfort!Louis, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationships, hurt!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 07:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dichotomy/pseuds/dichotomy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis knew what he was doing.<br/>He did.</p>
<p>Didn't he?</p>
<p>Harry didn't think it would come up again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Believe in You

**Author's Note:**

> so this idea has been running through my head for ages
> 
> it's unbeta'd so I'm really sorry for any mistakes!

Louis knew. He did. 

But a long week of classes, not to mention shitty campus lunches in between art and drama and English classes, could take a toll on a person. Louis knew that too. He should have expected the tiredness. 

But no. He had declined Zayn's offer to go to the restaurant with Katherine, Liam, and Niall. Louis had brought Harry to the club down the street from their college. Because, well, why not? He was tired of sitting in closed classrooms, tired of drama class, tired of endless paintings. This was a new feeling, that much he was sure of. So why couldn't he take his boyfriend to the club? He could. And he did. 

~*~ 

Harry had agreed, he had gone with Louis to the club down the street. 

He sat at the bar, nursing a beer, a can of coke open next to him. He smiled, watching Louis take control of the mic on stage. Louis had downed three beers, and the effects were showing. Louis's voice was slurred just slightly, and he swayed a bit if he moved too fast. But Louis drunk was adorable Louis, so Harry didn't make an effort to get Louis off stage. It was only quarter after 10, after all.

To be fair, Louis held his liquor well. Unlike...well, Harry didn't like to think about that certain someone. 

~*~

Louis was happy. Happy happy happy. Harry was sitting and smiling at the bar, looking as fucking hot as always and Louis was up on stage. This was great, he knew it was a good idea to come here. 

And then Louis had an idea. 

Harry and Louis had only gotten into one, and only one, major argument. It had been about something small, like doing the dishes or laundry, but it had blown itself way pout of proportion. Harry had left their dorm and gone to stay with Zayn. At half-past two, Harry had slammed the door open, stalked into their room, and fucked Louis into the bed like the world was to end that very minute. 

As much as Louis hated, absolutely despised, fighting with Harry, he had enjoyed being dominated way too much for someone who regularly topped during sex. 

So Louis decided that today would be the day he would get Harry to dominate him again. But even in his tipsy state, Louis knew he had to be careful. If he got Harry too mad, he might leave him. That would kill Louis. He couldn't live in a world without his sweet, gentle Harry. 

Scanning the crowd, Louis locked eyes with a rather fit blonde. Climbing off stage, he moved toward the blonde. Winking, grabbed the blonde by the waist and carefully situated them so they were in sight of the bar, but not too close for it to obvious. He slowly grinded his hips against the other's, who responded with surprising vigor. Looking up, he smirked as he caught Harry's eyes. Louis lightly wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck as he watched Harry's face. Confusion flickered over Harry's face, then anger, as Louis had hoped, and then-

What?

Harry's face had crumpled in defeat. He stood up, heading for the exit. The sight of Harry leaving sobered Louis up so quickly, his head spun for a moment. Louis realized then how badly he had screwed up. Wrenching away from the blonde, whose name he had not bothered to find out, Louis began to weave through the crowd, trying to catch up to the rapidly departing Harry. 

~*~

Harry had known it would happen. He just hadn't expected it to hurt so much. 

Ever since that one relationship with Jonah, Harry's self-esteem had tanked, fallen far below a healthy level. He knew it was bad, knew he should probably tell someone how bad it got sometimes, but he had kept it to himself. No one he had dated (all 4 of them) had bothered to figure out why he spent more time in the bathroom than others, why he wore long, loose-fitting jumpers, why he insisted on eating certain foods. 

His problem was his own business. The reason for the problem was the same reason Jonah had left him. As Jonah had told him, Harry was, simply put, boring. Just before leaving, Jonah had told Harry everything that had driven him away. How Harry was too chubby, how he didn't like to dance, everything Jonah hadn't liked. 

That was what broke Harry. His own insecurities, spat directly in his face, confirming everything he found wrong about himself. The only person who had been able to push his way into Harry's life was Louis. Bright, happy, beautiful, hilarious, golden, angelic Louis. 

But, as horrible as he felt about it even thinking it, even being with Louis made him feel horrible. Why wasn't he that tan, that beautiful? Why couldn't he put himself out there, get up on stage without feeling clumsy and lanky and stupid? Why couldn't he let Louis in, as far in himself as Louis deserved? And why did Louis stay with Harry, of all people? 

Even with all that, especially with all that, Harry had become very, very good at hiding his problem.

~*~

Harry had stepped out into the street before Louis caught up to him.

"Harry! Where are you going? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he called, reaching out to grab Harry's thin wrist. 

Harry flinched, turning to face Louis, holding his wrist away from Louis's hand. 

"Go back, Lou, go back to whoever he was. I get it, I know. I knew this would happen," Harry said quietly. Louis's heart broke at the defeat in Harry's eyes. 

"No, Harry, no, he wasn't anyone at all and- wait, what do you mean you knew this would happen?" Louis asked, frowning. 

"I knew you'd get bored. Why would you have wanted to stay with me anyway? Whoever he was is probably massively more interesting. Really, Louis, go. I know," Harry repeated, just as softly. 

"NO, Harry, I am not bored, and I will never get bored of you! Why do you think I wouldn't want to be with you? Why would you think that?" Louis asked, reaching forward for Harry again. Harry stepped back a bit, protectively wrapping his arms around his own chest. 

"Look at me Lou. What about me is even halfway as interesting or as beautiful as you are? You deserve better Louis. Why you even stayed with me this long, why you bothered to get close, is still an enigma to me," Harry said, shoulders hunching on himself. 

Louis shook his head, trying to process Harry's words, shocked beyond belief. How could anyone as beautiful as Harry think that?

"Harry, no. Stop. You are perfect, you are. Don't shake your head, you are. Who made you think that? They're wrong, Harry, they're wrong," Louis was repeating himself, his voice sounded stupid to his own ears, but he needed Harry to understand. 

Harry straightened up. "No one, don't worry. I'm just going to go back, you go back inside, have fun," he said. Louis knew he was lying the moment the words left his mouth. Louis was positive Harry was going to go straight home, pick some things up and lock himself up in Zayn's dorm. Louis couldn't let that happen. He needed to know what had happened, who had hurt his boyfriend. Most of all, he needed to get that look of defeat out of Harry's eyes. 

"I'm coming with you, come on. Let's go home," Louis said, watching to see if Harry would refuse. Harry seemed resigned, apparently sensing that Louis wouldn't back off. He nodded, allowing Louis to walk past him to hail a cab. 

As they got into the cab, Louis reached for Harry's hand, but Harry sat at the far edge, almost pressed against the cab door, picking at the upholstery. The rejection stung, but Louis let it go, knowing how fragile Harry was at the moment. 

The cab ride felt infinitely long and Louis wondered how Harry's head hadn't suddenly exploded, considering the way Louis's concerned gaze was boring into the side of his head. When they arrived back at the campus, Louis paid the cabbie and the walked in silence to their dorm. 

When they got into their dorm, and into the living room, Louis turned to Harry. Harry, noticing this, looked down, but then quickly spoke before Louis could open his mouth.

"I've got to use the bathroom, be right back, yeah?" he said, eyes widening as Louis shook his head. 

"No, you don't, I know when you've got to take a wee. What's wrong, Haz, tell me," Louis implored, taking a seat on the couch, forcing Harry to do the same with a defeated sigh. Taking a deep breath, Harry looked Louis in the eye. 

"I'm depressed. That's what's wrong with me. Now will you admit you don't want to be tied down with me, that you want to date guys who dance and go to clubs and aren't boring?" Harry said.

Louis's eyes widened. "W-what? You're depressed? But you've never shown any signs of it and you-" 

Harry cut Louis off. "Yes, I have, I've just been hiding it from you. I'm bulimic Louis. That's what I do in the bathroom. Are you happy? That's my secret." Harry pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around his knees.

Louis frowned. "No, Harry, I'm not happy that you're bulimic. And you being depressed isn't going to make me leave either, if that's what you're thinking. If anything, it'll make me stay." 

"Well, I don't want you to be here just because you pity me, that isn't fair to you at all," Harry said. 

"No, Harry, I'm not staying because I pity you. I'm staying because you're you. I'm staying because I care about you. And what is this about it being unfair to me?" Louis asked.

"Well, you're Louis. You're beautiful and you're energetic and you're the polar opposite of boring. And then look at me. I'm absolutely boring, Lou. You asked who made me think that. Jonah didn't make me think anything, he only confirmed what I had already known. Jonah was the last guy I dated."

As Harry told Louis about Jonah, what Jonah had said to him, voice quiet, arms still protectively wrapped around his knees, Louis felt his heart break into small, tiny pieces, falling to the floor like rain. 

When Harry finished talking he lowered his eyes, staring at the couch's print. Louis was silent for a moment, processing what he had been told. He didn't know what to say, what to do, how to show Harry how beautiful he really was. How to show him that Jonah was wrong.

"Harry. Look at me," he said, frowning when Harry's head stayed determinedly down.

"Harry, he was wrong. That arse wasn't worth your time, didn't deserve you. You're beautiful. You really are." Leaning forward, Louis carefully unwrapped on of Harry's arms and held his hand in his own. "You don't need to change anything." 

Harry shook his head. "I'll never be good enough Louis."

"You already are good enough. More than good enough," Louis reiterated. 

Harry shook his head again, soft curls bouncing as he moved. That gave Louis an idea. 

"You know what I love about you Harry? I love your curls. I love how you let me hug and cuddle you, anytime of the day, even when you're dead tired, even when you're in those distant moods I could never figure out. I love you're hands, how big they are and how you can hold my entire waist at once. I love your green eyes and how they read me so well. I love how you smell, a little spicy and a dash of vanilla. I love your lips, and how they feel against my own, against my skin. I love your fit as hell stomach, and your chest, especially when you let me lay on you. I love your collarbones, and I love how it looks, littered with purple after a particularly satisfying night. I love your milky white skin, how soft it always is. I- I love you Harry, all of you. I don't want you hurting yourself, and that includes cutting down your food and chucking it back up after meals," Louis finished, watching Harry's reaction.

Harry had finally looked up, watching Louis's mouth, occasionally flickering up to his eyes as Louis spoke. His were now lined with tears, his eyes huge and round. He swallowed, staring at Louis. Louis stared back, trying to gauge how Harry would respond. 

"You-do you- you love me?" Harry asked, his voice cracking on the last word. 

"More than anything," Louis replied. 

Harry cracked, tears spilling down his cheeks. Louis felt his eyes tear up as well. He reached forward once more, pulling Harry on top of him, laying back. Harry buried his face in Louis's chest, his tears dampening Louis's shirt, torso shaking with quiet sobs. Louis cried just as quietly. 

Louis cried for Harry. Cried for the broken boy laying on his chest. Cried because of what Harry had been told was true. Cried because he hadn't noticed, hadn't shown Harry how beautiful he was. 

Harry's sobs slowly subsided and he sat up, Louis following. Harry sat in front of Louis on the couch, their knees touching. Harry looked straight at Louis. 

"I love you Lou. I can't promise I'll be fixed, can't promise I'll be okay. But I'll try. For now, all I can say is I love you," Harry said.

Louis wiped his face. "That's all I ever needed. I'll help you, I promise. I'm never, ever going to leave you Harry, I love you far too much." 

Harry smiled a very small, watery yet genuine, smile. 

Louis smiled back, taking Harry's face in his own. He pressed their lips together softly. 

"I believe in you, Harry." 

And with that, Louis pressed their lips together again, sending them both into their private little world.

**Author's Note:**

> and now I'm thinking I should make this a fic or something


End file.
